Kevin had already gone to work by the time my alarm rang. I didn't have any classes until later today, and for once, I would show up, even if one of those classes I had was Mateo's.4My thoughts went back to the guys like it always did. In the weeks that I had known them, they'd taken over my entire mind, and if I could admit it to myself, they'd taken over my whole heart as well. That was why what they'd done cut me so deep because I hadn't just trusted them; I'd fallen for them too.7What if...Kevin was right. If I searched hard enough, I would always find something to worry about next. What if they hurt me again? What if I would never be able to trust them like I'd once done? What if I decided to let them go and then regret it for the rest of my life? There were so many things I could second-guess about, and I would never get an answer to them until I made up my mind.3So, instead of what ifs, I focused on what I truly wanted. Did I want them gone, or did I want to give them a second chance and work through this? I deep dived into my feelings and analyzed each one of them, trying to find out which one of those options appealed the most to me. A smile tugged on my lips as I realized my answer. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I knew what I was going to choose. Decision making always did that to me, it weighted me down, even the smallest thing, but when I finally made up my mind, I was a hundred percent sure and felt a hundred times lighter.1The intercom buzzed to life, bringing me out of my overactive brain. Walking to the door, I pressed down on the intercom that would allow me to speak."Who is it?" I asked.1"I have a delivery for one Emma Fields?" A woman asked through the speaker.109Puzzled, I told her I'd be down to collect it. What was this about a delivery? I couldn't stop wondering about it as I went down the two flights of stairs and opened the door. I didn't even notice the woman as my eyes zeroed in on the massive bouquet she was holding. It was a beautiful mixture of white, blue, red, but mainly lavender-colored flowers.10My breath caught as she handed it to me. "Can you sign on this tablet?" the woman asked, offering a pen. I did as she asked, and then she was on her way.Breathing in the scent of the bouquet, a small smile rested on my lips. I had an idea, or three, on who sent this to me, and my heart was going crazy thinking about either of them sending me flowers.26I spied a note in the bouquet, and I hurried upstairs so I could read it. Kevin being the lover of flowers and plants, already had many vases to choose from, even for one as big as this.Putting them in the water, I snatched the card, eager to see what it said.My favorite color is blue. Callan's color is red. Gideon's is white. If you mix every one of them together, you'll get lavender.104You once told me that was your favorite color.9No one could suit us more perfectly than you.1You match us, Gorgeous.2Yours truly, Mateo

he time Kevin got home, I'd practically stressed myself to exhaustion. For the past several hours, I had tried to figure out what I should do and came up with next to nothing. I struggled to think of anything I should be doing. Going to the police? Already done that. Had it helped? Absolutely not. Telling anyone about my situation? Yeah, no can do, unless I wanted to test the fucked-up person who had suddenly barged into my life. The only thing I'd decided on was moving back to my apartment. I didn't feel comfortable staying at Kevin's when I had some creep following me. I didn't want to get my best friend involved in this. What if I stayed here and that person thought I'd told Kevin? What if I got Kevin hurt because of it?106I didn't know if I was taking this too seriously, but then again, I'd never been in this situation before. Getting messages and threats from a creep was scary, especially when I didn't know what that person was capable of. I tried to reassure myself with the fact that I hadn't received any threats directed at me, so maybe as long as I told no one and stayed away from the guys, I and everyone else would be safe...right?24But for how long? How long did I have to stay away from them? Weeks? Months? A year? Two years?53Just this morning, before all this, I'd made up my mind about the guys. As soon as I threw away the 'what if' questions that plagued me and actually listened to what I wanted, I'd known that I wanted to try making us work again. My talk with them cleared up my doubts and insecurities. At first, I'd been afraid that what we had hadn't been real, that I'd been a game to them; I'd been scared that if they could lie to me, then they never cared about me like I cared about them. I'd let my overactive brain run wild. But, after speaking with them, I could see how wrong I'd been in my assumptions. Their eyes held the same pain as mine did. Their mouth bled truth through their words. They'd made a mistake—a mistake that hurt and broke our trust, yes, but it was still a mistake. Deep down, I knew that they never meant to hurt me.17So yeah, this morning, I'd decided to forgive them. I'd realized that what Callan, Mateo, and Gideon had given me these past weeks made up for their one mistake. They'd given me my dreams; to experience pain, pleasure, submission, and domination. They gave me the courage to go after what I wanted, to accept that what I wanted wasn't wrong, weird, or disgusting. They built me up, made me comfortable in my own body, and made me see myself in a different light—a better light.11Most importantly, with them, I'd been alive; I'd been happier than ever and found thrill and excitement in days that used to be dull and uneventful. And so, thinking of that instead of the 'what ifs' made it an easy decision.3As cliché as it sounded, they brought colors into my life, and I hadn't realized I'd seen everything in shades of grey until they came along. I wasn't ready to let go of the colors, the thrill, and the happiness—I wasn't prepared to let go of my guys.72So, for how long did I have to stay away from them? Because if there was one thing that would kill me, it would be watching them move on with someone else while I kept my distance to keep them safe. Of course, I would do it if it meant them not getting hurt, even if it would end up hurting me.35It seemed I was just as self-sacrificing as the heroines I'd read in books, only...I was about a hundred percent more afraid than they ever were. But hey, I never said anything about being a badass like them. I was only a girl who didn't know any better.3"We're home!" Kevin's cheery tone filled the living room, making my heart ache for the same cheery feeling I'd felt only a few hours ago.3Kevin gave me a quick hello before bustling into the kitchen with a grocery bag, followed by Thomas, his unofficial boyfriend. I'd already known he was coming to eat dinner with us from Kevin's text, but I'd totally forgotten about it.

Good, because I want to be here whenever you're going through something." With a last squeeze, he let go of me. He took with him all the warmth as he did, leaving me alone in a guilt wrapped in coldness.Walking over to the bed, I took a seat. "So, what are your boyfriend up to?" I asked, bringing his attention away from my lies and secrets.His grin lit up the place at the mention of his now official boyfriend. Kevin had never been the relationship kind of guy, but I suspected it had been more because he just hadn't found the right one and not because he didn't want to be in a relationship. It made me happy seeing him this in love, even if it brought a small pang in my chest. I mentally shoved away the bitter jealousy, it had no place here when it came to the happiness of my best friend.4Kevin joined me on the bed. "He's out job hunting, but he'll be free this afternoon if you'd want to hang out?" His eyes widened in excitement, "I know! We could go bowling. It's been ages. Or we could go to the arcade."5Kevin's last suggestion took me a little by surprise, but it shouldn't have. The arcade was his place; the place where he found peace and relaxation when he needed it. I'd been there with him a few times, but he didn't share his place with just about anyone. It was further proof that they were a great match.4"That sounds fun," I said regretfully, hating to disappoint him when he was this excited."But?" he asked, hearing the word 'but' hanging in the air. "Let me guess, you can't?" There was a note of...not anger, but frustration in his tone."I have work today, so no, I can't." It wasn't the only reason I couldn't, but I wasn't exactly going to tell him that."Oh," he sounded surprised, like my excuse was actually valid for once. "You're really going after what happened yesterday?"I shrugged. "I need the money. Besides, nothing really happened. The guys were there to stop it."Kevin's lowered his brows. "Still, it must've been traumatic. Are you sure you're ready to get back there this soon after?""Why wouldn't I be? Like I said, the guys didn't let it go that far." Maybe it was the shock, or the thought of staying home alone that made me want to do anything but. It wasn't like I was safe at home either. I gave the untrusty door a side-eye, because I'd now seen that it wasn't unbreakable, and Kevin hadn't even put much effort into making it vibrate like it did.3"Girly, you're taking this way too easily.""Or you're taking it way too seriously," I volleyed, shifting my gaze back to a frustrating looking Kevin.3"Em, someone put their hands on you and wanted to do much more. How are you so calm about this?" he asked."Seriously though, nothing happened. Sure, it was scary when he grabbed me, but it only lasted a second before Gideon and Callan showed up. Gideon will be there tonight too; he'll make sure I'm safe."2He shook his head in confusion. "For someone who broke up with them because they broke your trust, you sure trust them a lot."

away a lonesome tear, I swallowed down the lump in my throat and steeled myself to go downstairs to Mateo.12This meeting...it wouldn't be easy, but it had to be done. It had to. I couldn't start doubting my decision.4I felt like a self-sacrificing idiot, but wasn't that how it should be if it meant keeping those you cared about safe?14A knock on the door made me flinch, still feeling the effects of the phone call."Gorgeous, are you ready?" Mateo's voice was like a balm for my nerves, and for the first time in what felt like ages, I could breathe easier. The only person outside my door was one I cared about. 37"I'm coming right now," I told him, surprised when my voice came out steady. Beating down whatever hesitation I might've still felt, I went to the door and opened it.5YOU'LL ALSO LIKEYes, Sirs (Book 1 of Desire's Den)62.3M1.4M"You were ours from the second we saw you," he stated as if I didn't have a choice in it, and the truth was, I didn't need to because he was right. I was their...Submissive Desires345K3.7KThis story is really HOT. Like really really really HOT. It's essentially about a college student learning about her hidden desire to submit to a man, with the help of h...Lusting After Lucifer (18+) ☑259K2.5KThis is an erotic romance. Recommended 18+! Completed. Excerpt: His mouth was back on mine in an instant, the door behind us rattling loudly as he thrust against me. &qu...Solicitude394K7.6KRated R "Please, faster," I begged but he didn't oblige. "No, my control, my pace," he said. Then, I felt his lips on mine as he continued easing in...Sometimes he loves me140K3.2K‼️Content warning and trigger warning‼️ This is a dark romance and contains mature content that is not suitable for all readers. The trigger warnings include: - Assault...DOMINANT✔ (DSD SERIES, BOOK ONE)1.3M31.4K⚠️⚠️Rated Mature ⚠️⚠️ 🌟🌟I do not own rights to images on the cover or the song lyrics in the book. All rights go to the photographers and writers. 🌟🌟 CHRISTINA HASE ...Saving Leah2.1M52.3KSaving Leah Series Book 1 Buy an edited and refined version on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08PTD577S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=saving+leah+book&qid=1607281...My breath caught the second I stepped outside as his warm ocean eyes connected with mine. There were so many feelings flashing through his gaze. Still, I didn't let myself read them, too afraid I would see something there that would make leaving even harder. Though, I didn't know if it would be possible for it to be harder than it already was.7His usually easy smile that showcased his beautiful dimples was nowhere to be found. Instead, it was strained and sad. The last time we had spoken, I'd come at him with all my hurt and betrayal, and to say it had been a tough conversation would be an understatement. I could still recall the last time I spoke to him in the park when I confronted him about what they'd kept from me. I'd been a little broken and a little scarred and a whole lot hurt.32Mateo was the one I found the easiest to approach, which was why I'd wanted to talk to him first. He always had this laid-back way about him that had drawn me to him right from the start. It made me feel safe and calm, which I had needed the most when it became time to deal with their betrayal. 16Even with the sadness surrounding us both, I still felt the easiness of being with him now; my soul yearned to never let go of that feeling of tranquility he provided.2There was this instant humming beneath my skin as I joined him outside my apartment. Every cell of my body begged me to cross the small gap between us and fling myself into his arms and the safety of his embrace. Even with the trust currently broken between us, I didn't think my craving for him and the others would ever go away.8He was wearing a dark blue suit that was fitted to his broad shoulders and narrow waist. Two of the buttons on the white shirt underneath his jacket were undone, and I just knew it was because the formal wear felt stiffening to him. He was more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, but damn...he looked good in it.37It had only been a couple of days since I'd seen him last, but standing in front of him now, it felt like ages ago. The sight of him was heartbreakingly beautiful.5I noticed he'd been able to get inside the building, but I didn't comment on it. If Callan still had the key from when he fixed the ceiling and shower, then Mateo had probably borrowed it from him. Frankly...it made me feel safer knowing they could reach me if I needed them.

I sucked in a breath, envisioning how Mateo would react to never being able to work as a professor again; it would quite possibly break him. I knew he planned on returning to teaching as soon as his sister got educated and learned how to handle the company independently. Being a businessman had never been in the cards for him, but teaching? That was his true passion. Could I let someone take that away from him?16As for the sex club owner... he's pretty dependent on the trust of his members, isn't he? What would've happened if their names were leaked to the press? Would he be buried in legal charges, perhaps? He would for sure lose his precious club. He'd never regain their trust.228My thoughts immediately turned to DD's members; actors and actresses, known businessmen and politicians. While many thought that having a kink shouldn't be shameful, too many found it repulsive—mostly because of ignorance. If this got out, and the world got to know what their favorite actress or political figures were into, it could ruin their image, and they, in turn, would ruin Callan's. He prided himself in providing them with a secure and private club where they could experience their kink in peace. I was sure they wouldn't let it stand if their activities got out, and that it was linked to Desire's Den.9Fuck. Callan lived for his job the same way Mateo did. Gideon...while he worked a lot, I could tell his passion wasn't in it like theirs was.1And let's not forget about that broken guy of yours. With what I have on him, I wouldn't just ruin his career, I would destroy his entire life. Tell me, do you know anything about his childhood at all? No? Maybe they don't trust you as well as you think they do.230Whatever he was hinting at with Gideon, it twisted my heart. Not the part about them not trusting me, because...weirdly, even after their dishonesty, I wasn't as worried about that as I would've been only a day ago—my mind had already put most of it behind me. But bringing up his childhood? I'd had my suspicion that something had happened to my big and scary man. Something about the way he never let me see him naked and how he wouldn't let me sleep with him for the night—not to mention the unnatural aggression rolling off of him in waves—made me worry for him.37Mateo had practically confirmed my suspicions that night when we had a public scene. However, he respected his friend enough to not divulge something that wasn't his to share.It was the last text that did me in, however. If that's not enough for you, my darling, I am not opposed to something more physical. You might think I am doing this to torture you, but I'm not. They were the ones who tortured you, putting their filthy hands on you and causing you pain. I'm the one who will save you.238And, darling? You shouldn't try to tell anyone else. Don't test me. 130The threat of physical harm...the deranged mentality of this person...it was proof enough that this wasn't just a slightly ill person, but someone who was so mentally not there that I was genuinely afraid of what they were capable of.62

shook his head in confusion. "For someone who broke up with them because they broke your trust, you sure trust them a lot."18Well...he got me there. I hadn't really thought about the trust issue lately. I guessed I'd been distracted and not realized that maybe the trust between me and the guys weren't that broken after all; maybe it had just been bent, like a bond that was a little frayed at the edges, but still holding on. Because throughout the stalker situation, there had only been one place where I felt like I was safe and cared for, and it was with my men. You had to have trust to feel safe with someone, didn't you?1I didn't comment to his statement. Instead, I moved our conversation along, shifting the focus back on his and his boyfriend. It was a dirty trick. Kevin was too in love to not talk about his relationship when prompted, and it didn't seem he noticed the not-so subtle manipulation on my part.1It was nice to just be able to listen while he told me about the sweet things Thomas had done for him, like surprising him with a candlelit dinner after Kevin came home from work or taking him out on a trivia night when he'd been stressed—he didn't mention what he'd been stressed about, but from the look Kevin gave me, I gathered it was because of me. They'd both already given each other keys to their apartment, which some might think is too soon, but it wasn't like I could talk—I fell in love with three men during a few weeks' arrangement, it that wasn't soon, I didn't know what was.1When it had been time for Kevin to leave, he'd asked if we could hang out soon. My reply had been vague, and it brought me no joy to see his smile falter as he walked away without calling me out on it.1He'dnoticed the distance I was putting between us, and it seems he wasfinally...unfortunately...taking the hint. And it broke my heart in a differentkind of way than leaving the guys did.